80s Diet Foods: Grapefruit

Say hello to my little friend.

The humble grapefruit was a staple of 1980s diet crazes and fads. Long a symbol of deprivation, the grapefruit gets a bad rap in my opinion. Diet practitioners in the 80s used to tell people that the magical enzymes in grapefruit would help them burn calories and melt fat. If that isn’t setting off your bullshit detectors, please go sit at the back of the class and don’t raise your hand again.

The worst diet fad to propagate this myth was the Scarsdale Diet. According to its author, just one grapefruit for breakfast every day was enough to help you burn through the 700 calories per day you were allotted. Yeah, you read that right. That’s half the calories a woman should be eating even if she’s on a fucking diet.

Unfortunately, the diet’s popularity lasted longer than it’s founder, Dr. Herman Mengele Tarnower, who was quite rightly murdered in 1980 by his mistress. Presumably because she’d been following his sadistic diet for too long and decided to take one for the ladies.

"I may have been asking for it."

Even for modern dieters, grapefruits are a lovely way to start the day without spiking your blood sugar levels to “10,000-4-year-olds-at-a-birthday-party” levels. If you can’t handle the sourness, grab a vintage bottle of liquid Sugar Twin brand sweetener, and go hog wild on that shit.

"Who you calling Splenda, bitch?"


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