On this blog, we only talk about one thing: 80s diet and fitness trends. If you’re into that, then let’s dig in.
I’m your host. I’m too fat right now and I need to lose 10 lbs, minimum. Treadmills bore the fuck out of me so I’ve decided to do it the 80s way. There’s gonna be a lot of grapefruit, some cottage cheese, legwarmers, ponytails and lip gloss. All in pursuit of the ultimate 80s fitness look: the high-waisted leotard.
I will not be posting before and after pictures of myself. That shit is gross. I will be reviewing 80s fitness programs, 80s fitness movies, 80s weight loss programs, and bad-ass 80s fitness icons, like my girl, Cheryl Tiegs.
But first, a few rules regarding any progress updates I might make from time to time.
Rule #1: No starvation diets. Seriously, fuck that.
Rule #2: No bullshit advice. Only nutritional guidance from from ACTUAL obesity and nutrition researchers is allowed. People who play doctors and fitness experts on TV (Mehmet, Jillian, I’m looking at you) can FUCK RIGHT OFF.
Rule #3: Whenever possible, get metrics. I know this part isn’t very 80s, but I’ll be using online and mobile apps like Runkeeper and MyFitnessPal to at least try to get a sense of my daily calorie balance. Calorie counting is VERY 80s.
Rule #4: Always be primping. That’s just sound life advice.
Are you bitches ready? Let’s do.